Beverly Hills hair salon freak out!

this morning I had this dream which on the surface seems pretty nonsensical and mostly like brain vomit, but it's pretty entertaining nonetheless...

my mom and are going to her habitual hair salon to get my hair cut, (which is a pretty regular occurrence in real life about once a year) and she is sitting down, waiting, while I walk over to the haircutting station. her usual stylist, who in the dream is a woman from her church in california, says she is too tired to cut my hair and that she's gonna sit this one out. her son (who I don't know in real life) comes up and says he's going to take over, and that he is just as competent as his mom. he starts showing me this shelf of beauty products, creams, hair lotions and what not, and I'm just standing there, listening to him drone on and on about products I couldn't care less about, waiting for him to finish because I figure he's gonna keep talking anyways so why not let him get through his shpeel. at some point I decide he's too trendy, too superficial and concerned with fashion and not function, and that he is not a trustworthy person to handle my locks. he tries to sit me down in the chair and asks me how much I want cut, which isn't very much because I'm trying to grow my hair out (which has been true for years). he comments about how all the dead ends are going to have to come off, but doesn't specify a precise length which worries me, and I get very agitated and afraid and say, no, I don't trust you, you're not touching my hair! I start shouting at him, throwing things like cotton balls and towels, and running around the salon causing a ruckus. my mom sits in the chair, embarrassed that I am causing such a scene, and in Beverly Hills too. eventually my mom and I run out of the salon, the front of which is now on a waterfront, and we hop in a small two person boat to make our getaway. I'm sitting in the rear, steering with a handle that should be attached to the boat but isn't, and because I've never steered a boat in real life I don't think my brain quite knew in the dream how that was supposed to look. all I could come up with was a wooden stick with a propeller on the end, but I put that in the water and somehow we started to move. we went through what looked like ice caverns and the water was a brilliant blue color. eventually we came to a wide open cavern that was a hidden warehouse for some company and they were just getting a shipment of something in. the warehouse workers were really surprised to see us there and wondered where we came from. we were talking, and then I woke up.

a lot of this dream has to do with little moments throughout the past couple of days, like talking about haircuts and trying to refocus my energy from fashion to function... and I think the rejection of Beverly Hills has a lot to do with re-embracing my punk roots and also the fact that I was in california recently and nothing felt quite right.

building demolition

this morning i woke up remembering this dream; its pretty foggy but still interesting:

a man was at the top of a HUGE high rise building (i knew it wasn't me, but i was seeing everything through his eyes), surrounded by other really tall buildings in a big city but most of the buildings were either dilapidated or being torn down. he was demonstrating this new game, where you're suspended from a really thin wire (i don't know what it was attached to, but something up in the sky) and you hold the wire like a rope and just swing from building to building. but he was down pretty low on the wire so instead of going to the top of the next building, he (i) ended up swinging into the lower level of a building that was being demolished. the ride was terrifying because i'm afraid of heights, and it was up so high and there was nothing to catch me, i was just holding on to this really thin but really strong wire, but it was exhilarating too. so i land in the other building, and am somehow in between these really thick but closely spaced together layers of concrete with other construction workers/contractors who are working on demolishing the building. for some reason, they're starting the demolition early, even with all the workers inside. a huge torrent of rushing water comes barreling through the building, and all of the layers/floors of concrete are diagonally sloped so the water is moving really quickly and the current is really strong. i don't really know how to explain it but we were in this really tight space, holding on to the concrete and bracing ourselves against the water, wondering why they were starting the demolition early and not waiting for us to leave. then all of a sudden, it turned into this underground sort of tunnel, made of earth and smelling really musty and refreshing like water and fresh dirt and lots of life packed into a really dense area. (kind of like the pirates of the caribbean ride at disneyland or the bathroom at the troubadour... they have the same kind of musty, water smell.) there were vines hanging from the dirt walls and i was like in wonder at my surroundings, like i'd found this secret, dreamy world. that's about all i remember.

from dreamhawk:

DEMOLISH/DEMOLISHED/DEMOLITION: The breakdown of ideas, philosophies, emotional attitudes, or ways of life in which you have been established. The threat to hopes you have cherished. The feeling that some other person is undermining us by criticism, arrogance, antagonism or aggressiveness. Major changes in your inner or outer life have been, or are being, undertaken.

and from dreammoods.com:

To see a building in your dream, represents the self and the body. How high you are in the building indicates a rising level of understanding or awareness. If you are in the lower levels of the building, then it refers to more primal attitudes and/or sexuality. To see a building in ruins or damaged, indicates that your approach toward a situation or relationship is all wrong. You need to change. Your own self-image may have suffered and taken some blow. To dream that you or someone fall off a building, suggests that you are descending into the realm of unconscious. You are learning about and acknowledging aspects of your unconscious. Alternatively, it symbolizes your fear of not being able to complete or succeeding in a task.

all of which rings pretty true right now.

swim competition...prize: hello kitty candy

dream segment from sunday:
i'm standing, alongside other swimmers who are lined up to my left and to my right. each of us is standing on a small white towel, about several inches (maybe a foot) away from what looks like the concrete edge of a pool. i'm focused looking at our leg and feet positions...everyone seems to know how to start, but i'm uncertain of the right start position. i am moving my legs and feet trying to find a comfortable but appropriate position for my feet, looking at others' to get an idea of how to start. but since everyone's positions are not entirely uniform, i try to place my feet in a way that feels right for me. whilst doing so, i am aware of how close i am, while getting in my position, to the edge, being careful not to touch the water before the competition begins. only a second after this note of cautiousness on my part, the sign of the competition beginning is signaled. everyone jumps into the water, as do i, somewhat sloppily in form. i am aware that everyone around me seems to be trained or confident in what they are doing and that i am not. we are all swimming in what at first appears to be a pool but branches out into what looks like an ocean or other vast natural body of water. not long after we have begun, i am thinking that there is no way that i can win the competition, but i really want to try and do so.

i don't remember if much happened between swimming and reaching the shore, but eventually, i do reach the shore of an island-like place. there are people waiting there, non-competitors, including a bunch of my friends. i'm the first one on the shore, because i won! i'm walking around on the first floor of an open courtyard area of a small, two-story, plaza-like building, shaded by trees. i am picking out hello kitty-shaped candies that are moon-shaped and colored a deep blue hue. i'm told to do so, because it is my prize for winning the competition. being estranged from hello kitty at my "mature" age in waking life, i suddenly am fully confronted with and embracing the fact that "i really do like hello kitty!" i'm pretty sure ashley is one of the friends there, or that i thought of her at that moment. funny.

3 short dream clips: city in water, PhD in healing, & large animals

So this morning after I woke up, I realized I had a weird dream about a city that was built intentionally in the middle of a body of water (not sure if it was an ocean or a lake). It was a conglomeration of gray buildings, all fairly tall, closely grouped together and looked very technologically advanced. and then spanning the entire length of it (which wasn't very big) was a building that was sort of like the equivalent of a half-pipe, but it was clearly a curved building. it actually reminded me of the superman ride at magic mountain, like it went really high up into the air, higher than any of the other buildings and it was very dramatic looking. I remember thinking how scary it would be to be on the top floor, it was so high. and I also remember just knowing somehow that this city was reno. maybe because I was recently in lake tahoe. anywho, some underwater adventure took place involving swimming from something without getting caught or being seen. I was reading some sci-fi last night before falling asleep, which might explain the weird, futuristic setting. I don't remember the resolution of the dream though.

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then I had a dream about a friend of mine with whom I have fallen out of touch over the years, and even though we were really close growing up, we haven't spoken in at least a year, maybe longer. well I had a dream we were hanging out, and she told me that on top of her amazing life so far, she was going to go back to school. I asked if she meant to get her masters, and she said no, she was going to get her PhD in healing (which made sense in the dream). I got really jealous and started to compare myself to her and my life so far to hers and felt like a big old failure and loser. needless to say, I think I've got some buried issues there in terms of recognizing my uniqueness and not comparing myself to others!

I think being back in school after taking several years off is bringing up these issues of achievement for me. I felt kind of like a loser when I didn't go away to college right away like most of the kids from my high school, and I think I've held that against certain people and it has majorly affected our friendship(s). I don't know if this dream is trying to show me what I want (a PhD?!) or not to compare myself with others & hold their achievements against them. maybe both. or maybe it's telling me to accept myself as I am, and to appreciate all the things I've experienced by choosing a different path.

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finally, I had this dream the other night but kept forgetting about it somehow. this is a typical dream for me: it involves larger than life cute animals!! I don't remember the context at all, but I do remember there was a HUGE giant panda, he was bigger than a horse, actually about the size of an elephant, and I was snuggling on him!! I don't remember his name but I wish I did. anyway, I was ecstatic and didn't want to stop hugging him. and that's all I remember.