for some reason, lately, i have been dreaming of things from the past that are sorta dormant in my life...like people from childhood that i haven't seen since or events that occurred years ago. i dreamt wednesday evening that i was in the old keelung* house my mother's side of the family used to own and all live in. i dreamt my grandpa was there, too. i don't remember too much about the dream other than being there and really feeling attached to the house and not wanting to sell it.
in waking life, that house has already been sold, after my grandparents had passed away. my relatives had eventually moved, and i hadn't been in it since i was really young, maybe 7 years old or so. i have memories of the house still from those early years, because they are my first memories of taiwan...most of my mom's family lived under one roof back in the day...4 generations in a multiple-story house. maybe the dream signifies my attachments...to my grandpa, or that house, or maybe to taiwan? i was youtube-ing and myspace searching for taiwanese videos last night and chatting online with one of my relatives in taiwan last night...so i guess that's what inspired my dream.
*keelung is a port city in northern taiwan. interesting fact: many people who grew up in keelung have a very strong love for and attachment to seafood in their daily diet...
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
breakup night
In the early hours of Tuesday, I dreamt...
...that I asked my brother E if our older brother C really loved P (his first girlfriend). I asked E, as if it was relevant to the times (though it was years ago in waking life), "Did he truly love her?" E said "Yeah, he did." I felt confused that such love could go badly or end and felt pain inside me and said to him, "I feel like a child of divorced parents...This hurts..."
...Henry and Betty from TV show "Ugly Betty" were separating in front of my eyes (not on TV). I think the breaking up was elaborate, but I don't remember the details, just the emotions! Basically, unlike in the TV show where the two are trying to salvage their love and relationship while they still have time together, I dreamt they were coming to an end with no bittersweet time together. It was this stretched out, long, hurting separation that was really painful to watch. I kept on trying to figure out desperately "How can they get back together?" but it was beyond my control and I watched them in a painful, distant separation...
I also dreamt some non-breakup related things, most of which related to old times, people from the past and were confusing...Ugly Betty was probably the most relevant, time-wise, element to my dream. But I'll leave this post with just the breakups.
...that I asked my brother E if our older brother C really loved P (his first girlfriend). I asked E, as if it was relevant to the times (though it was years ago in waking life), "Did he truly love her?" E said "Yeah, he did." I felt confused that such love could go badly or end and felt pain inside me and said to him, "I feel like a child of divorced parents...This hurts..."
...Henry and Betty from TV show "Ugly Betty" were separating in front of my eyes (not on TV). I think the breaking up was elaborate, but I don't remember the details, just the emotions! Basically, unlike in the TV show where the two are trying to salvage their love and relationship while they still have time together, I dreamt they were coming to an end with no bittersweet time together. It was this stretched out, long, hurting separation that was really painful to watch. I kept on trying to figure out desperately "How can they get back together?" but it was beyond my control and I watched them in a painful, distant separation...
I also dreamt some non-breakup related things, most of which related to old times, people from the past and were confusing...Ugly Betty was probably the most relevant, time-wise, element to my dream. But I'll leave this post with just the breakups.
Monday, November 12, 2007
short but sweet rollerskate fashion show!
I had a super awesome dream a couple of weeks ago that is a little foggy, but I'll try and piece it together because it's just that good.
(I think this is a result of watching america's next top model and the hills...)
so I'm discovered by this fashion designer (someone akin to marc jacobs), who thinks I'd be great in his next show. so I'm whisked off with him to the headquarters, and he walks me through everything, like not just the fashion show, but I'm kind of like an intern/assistant to him, and he shows me everything he's doing like sketching the clothes and all the technical details which is super fun and he's really nice and supportive, nurturing even. turns out I'm the only plus size model in the show, but he really wants to include me, which is awesome! so I go to get my clothes and make up and hair done, and my outfit consists of a bikini/bathing suit of some kind and little overall jean shorts, kind of like a 70s jumpsuit. awesome. also, the entire show is going to be done on roller skates. like walking down the runway and everything. so I'm a little nervous about that, but otherwise stoked to be there.
so it comes time for the show to start, and I'm getting a little nervous but trying to remember to be FIERCE like tyra and strut my stuff down the runway. I think I'm last in the show, so it finally comes to my turn, and I have quite a bit of trouble strutting in roller skates, but I manage to get my ass to the end of the runway. then there are these stairs that all the models are standing on, so I climb my way up those, but my skates keep getting caught on the fabric so it's a little awkward. I remember being on the platform and just knowing that I made a weird, squinty face trying to look fierce, like that wasn't my thing, but I'm proud that I did it and made it all the way on skates without falling. and I look hot! and that's the last thing I remember, being proud of myself for putting myself out there like that and learning I could do it.
...I honestly don't know how my subconscious comes up with such awesome ideas though, a fashion show on roller skates?!? that's RAD.
(I think this is a result of watching america's next top model and the hills...)
so I'm discovered by this fashion designer (someone akin to marc jacobs), who thinks I'd be great in his next show. so I'm whisked off with him to the headquarters, and he walks me through everything, like not just the fashion show, but I'm kind of like an intern/assistant to him, and he shows me everything he's doing like sketching the clothes and all the technical details which is super fun and he's really nice and supportive, nurturing even. turns out I'm the only plus size model in the show, but he really wants to include me, which is awesome! so I go to get my clothes and make up and hair done, and my outfit consists of a bikini/bathing suit of some kind and little overall jean shorts, kind of like a 70s jumpsuit. awesome. also, the entire show is going to be done on roller skates. like walking down the runway and everything. so I'm a little nervous about that, but otherwise stoked to be there.
so it comes time for the show to start, and I'm getting a little nervous but trying to remember to be FIERCE like tyra and strut my stuff down the runway. I think I'm last in the show, so it finally comes to my turn, and I have quite a bit of trouble strutting in roller skates, but I manage to get my ass to the end of the runway. then there are these stairs that all the models are standing on, so I climb my way up those, but my skates keep getting caught on the fabric so it's a little awkward. I remember being on the platform and just knowing that I made a weird, squinty face trying to look fierce, like that wasn't my thing, but I'm proud that I did it and made it all the way on skates without falling. and I look hot! and that's the last thing I remember, being proud of myself for putting myself out there like that and learning I could do it.
...I honestly don't know how my subconscious comes up with such awesome ideas though, a fashion show on roller skates?!? that's RAD.
fiery dragon chase!!
I've been a naughty, naughty blogger! sorry friends. Since I have to wake up earlier than normal for school, my brain has had trouble adjusting and I haven't been remembering my dreams at all lately. that is, Until this morning! yay for holidays :D
so I had a really intense, crazy dream this morning. it was so intense I woke up sore all over!! also, its really windy here in portland, which might have added to the intensity somehow in my subconscious.
the dream begins at my friend tim's house. his whole family is there, parents and little sister, and he has this HUGE pet dragon that he found somehow. it has its own room, but it won't entirely fit in the room, so there's this little length of tail that curls out and around the corner in the kitchen. we're eating at the table, and every time someone has to get up, tim tells us not to step on the tail. sometimes its visible, sometimes its not, which is kinda weird.
then, sometime later, I'm trying to sleep in the bedroom around the corner from the dragon's room, and all of a sudden its angry and there's this huge tail lashing about trying to wrap itself around me like a snake! so I'm writing back and forth trying not to get trapped, screaming and freaking out a bit. somehow, we get out of the house, but not before we realize the dragon has been breeding with tim's small dogs, and it can reproduce really quickly so now there are these little green furry dogs running around trying to bite us too. we run out of the house, trying to get to a car or something so tim's parents can take me home (don't know why it's not outside the house), and the scenery looks a lot like scotland: rolling green grassy hills, pastures, sheep and what not. we're running up this hill with the dragon chasing us, running for our lives because we don't want to get eaten or burned by its firebreath, and this farming family sees us and tells us to run inside their shack/house. they have an underground tunnel that will get us down to the carport (I think that's where we're running). we run into their house, and jump through this little hole in the ground that has stairs but we're in too much of a hurry to use them so one after another we jump down and ride down the stairs on our butts. I'm carrying my backpack, another small bag, and two bags of takeout food (?!) with books in them that I'm borrowing. the tunnel goes down, down, down, and then opens out onto a wider staircase that we continue down into the earth, running, running, running. we finally come to a cliff with stairs going down it (impossible to descend), facing a wall with an opening/platform further down, a vine hanging in the middle, and we can see people down on the other side (this part kind of looked like a video game, like you would have to run & jump but just at the right point to land on the lower platform). tim's little sister runs and impulsively grabs the vine but ends up just swinging about, not really going anywhere. so I run & jump & try to save her, but end up hanging off the cliff by my fingers! I could not for the life of me muster the strength to pull myself back up, so a bunch of people had to help me (and I remember lucid dreaming, thinking, no, these people can't pull me up, I'm too heavy-- stupid insecurity!), including a boy I've been totally crushing on in one of my classes. as we've been running down these tunnels, more and more people have joined us, including him, and we end up talking, which is comforting in my dream because it has yet to happen in real life. anyway, that's when I woke up, so we never made it to the carport. and that dragon's still out there!!
incidentally, I looked up 'dragon' on dreamhawk's dictionary, and here's what it said:
The parts of your sexual drive or feelings that are untamed and fiery. The dragon can also represent the power and magic of the unconscious. But to get the 'gold' or treasure you have to deal with those wild forces within yourself. (http://www.dreamhawk.com/dyd-d3.htm#dragon)
interesting eh?? like I'm trying to ignore my sexuality, so it comes chasing after me. dreams are so weird.
UPDATE!!: just talked to tim, who said he and his friends drank a special kind of tea (wink, wink) the other day, and have since been joking about 'chasing the dragon'. how WEIRD is that?! I think maybe our brains connected somehow and passed information back and forth. that is seriously bizarre. has this ever happened to anyone else??
so I had a really intense, crazy dream this morning. it was so intense I woke up sore all over!! also, its really windy here in portland, which might have added to the intensity somehow in my subconscious.
the dream begins at my friend tim's house. his whole family is there, parents and little sister, and he has this HUGE pet dragon that he found somehow. it has its own room, but it won't entirely fit in the room, so there's this little length of tail that curls out and around the corner in the kitchen. we're eating at the table, and every time someone has to get up, tim tells us not to step on the tail. sometimes its visible, sometimes its not, which is kinda weird.
then, sometime later, I'm trying to sleep in the bedroom around the corner from the dragon's room, and all of a sudden its angry and there's this huge tail lashing about trying to wrap itself around me like a snake! so I'm writing back and forth trying not to get trapped, screaming and freaking out a bit. somehow, we get out of the house, but not before we realize the dragon has been breeding with tim's small dogs, and it can reproduce really quickly so now there are these little green furry dogs running around trying to bite us too. we run out of the house, trying to get to a car or something so tim's parents can take me home (don't know why it's not outside the house), and the scenery looks a lot like scotland: rolling green grassy hills, pastures, sheep and what not. we're running up this hill with the dragon chasing us, running for our lives because we don't want to get eaten or burned by its firebreath, and this farming family sees us and tells us to run inside their shack/house. they have an underground tunnel that will get us down to the carport (I think that's where we're running). we run into their house, and jump through this little hole in the ground that has stairs but we're in too much of a hurry to use them so one after another we jump down and ride down the stairs on our butts. I'm carrying my backpack, another small bag, and two bags of takeout food (?!) with books in them that I'm borrowing. the tunnel goes down, down, down, and then opens out onto a wider staircase that we continue down into the earth, running, running, running. we finally come to a cliff with stairs going down it (impossible to descend), facing a wall with an opening/platform further down, a vine hanging in the middle, and we can see people down on the other side (this part kind of looked like a video game, like you would have to run & jump but just at the right point to land on the lower platform). tim's little sister runs and impulsively grabs the vine but ends up just swinging about, not really going anywhere. so I run & jump & try to save her, but end up hanging off the cliff by my fingers! I could not for the life of me muster the strength to pull myself back up, so a bunch of people had to help me (and I remember lucid dreaming, thinking, no, these people can't pull me up, I'm too heavy-- stupid insecurity!), including a boy I've been totally crushing on in one of my classes. as we've been running down these tunnels, more and more people have joined us, including him, and we end up talking, which is comforting in my dream because it has yet to happen in real life. anyway, that's when I woke up, so we never made it to the carport. and that dragon's still out there!!
incidentally, I looked up 'dragon' on dreamhawk's dictionary, and here's what it said:
The parts of your sexual drive or feelings that are untamed and fiery. The dragon can also represent the power and magic of the unconscious. But to get the 'gold' or treasure you have to deal with those wild forces within yourself. (http://www.dreamhawk.com/dyd-d3.htm#dragon)
interesting eh?? like I'm trying to ignore my sexuality, so it comes chasing after me. dreams are so weird.
UPDATE!!: just talked to tim, who said he and his friends drank a special kind of tea (wink, wink) the other day, and have since been joking about 'chasing the dragon'. how WEIRD is that?! I think maybe our brains connected somehow and passed information back and forth. that is seriously bizarre. has this ever happened to anyone else??
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)