Sunday, February 24, 2008

grandma visits the u.s., sleeping aunt & phone calls.

i dreamt my brother e called me on my cell phone. i didn't look to see the name on the phone, so when i answered and heard his voice, i confirmed, "e?" 
he asked me, "how are you feeling? are you doing anything?" 
i replied, "i'm feeling alright, why?" 
"grandma's here in new york. she took a bus from san francisco," he said enthusiastically.
certain he was mistaken, i corrected him, "you mean, our AUNT, not grandma. our AUNT is in the U.S. grandma's in taiwan." i thought he had made the same slip of the tongue i had made myself, calling my aunt "grandma" (which had been previously discussed in the same dream and suggested as to referencing the closeness or similarity of the two people.)
"no, she was in san francisco and she jumped on a bus to new york," he said sorta ecstatically.
even though i trusted my brother, i was still in disbelief and wanted to see if my parents knew about this unbelievable happening of my 94 year old grandma spontaneously traveling to and through the u.s. alone. "i'm gonna call mom and dad and see if they know about this." e was quiet and i sensed that he was a little annoyed that i didn't seem to believe him. but i wanted to call my parents,  so i said something to him again.
as if he wasn't listening, he asked, "what?"
then, i got off the phone with him and pressed "2" on my cell phone, the speed dial for my parents' house. it rang, and then my uncle, aunt, or cousin's wife (i forget which) in taiwan answered. i had a visual glimpse of the other end, as if i were there while on the phone. i told whoever answered the phone that i was looking for my parents, immediately aware that i knew they were not there. i felt badly for dialing the wrong number, but also was stumped as to why the#2 speed dial had dialed my uncle's house, especially since i didn't have international long distance. on the other end of the phonecall, things became lively. several other relatives were visiting my uncle's home and somebody was asking me if i could guess who was there, from the voices speaking on the phone. i vaguely recall my mom being the person to ask me (though logically that doesn't make sense). i guessed my second eldest aunt, but was told that it was my 3rd eldest aunt and my eldest uncle's wife who were on the phone. this made me listen more carefully to the voices of the relatives who were speaking different things simultaneously from separate phones. their voices were all distinct in my mind, but somehow my guesses were still wrong. after being told who was on the phone, i tried to speak to them and say hello.

then, i was somehow at my family's old house, standing in the kitchen with my mother, her oldest sister and some other people. we were all standing around, talking i guess. and my eldest aunt was standing there, with her eyes closed. a little shocked, i thought to myself, "wow, she fell asleep while she's standing!" and immediately imagined my mom pointing out to me that nowadays my aunt often could fall asleep like so because of getting older. i put my arms around my aunt and told her gently, "auntie, if you want to sleep, you should sit down." she didn't hear me at all, as i tried to move her with my arms wrapped around her arms. i was a little worried, until i assured myself that she was still sleeping. then, i continued to move her towards a chair.

3 comments:

bananasplitz said...

hahaha oh J, that's so funny! I love the part about your aunt falling asleep standing up, and your mom explaining that it's because she's getting older :D

I wonder what all the confusion/excitement about your family means? interesting dream!!

J. said...

ohmygod, i THINK i have made complete sense of this dream...maybe! your comment encouraged me to look into it...

so, in the past, my grandma had wanted to come to the u.s. to see us and stay with my family, but some of us felt it was unwise at her age to travel here, with the different climate, the time change, healthcare...recently, my brother and my parents went to taiwan to visit my grandma and care for her. in my dream, she is coming to the u.s. however in reality, she has recently realized herself that she is too old to travel here, as she told me via adorable post-dream phone call...
now the confusion about the voices with my mom's family, who i often stay with when i'm in taiwan and who incidentally live in the same vicinity as my dad's mom, is symbolic of reality or truth being different from how i perceive it...and the reason i even dialed #2 is to verify with my parents if my grandma is really in the u.s. so, in a way, the symbolic phone confusion is saying that this dream about my grandma that i've become so engaged in is indeed an illusion. the kitchen scene nicely wraps up the dream, because the kitchen is symbolic of a happy place, where we bond, we eat, drink, and are shown love from our mom...it's a place where news or truth can be delivered more delicately... even though i already know it, fully accepting the reality that some of my family elders are aging and less inclined to visit us in the u.s. nowadays could, in a different light, be saddening to me and also cause me to worry and care about them from afar...but in my dream, in the kitchen, i gently learn and accept the aging and am shown the solution is in my response, which is to care and take care. in a way, this dream was trying to "break it to me" that my elders were getting elderly, etc. in a way, it was like a message from my grandma, who previously talked to me about coming to visit, and realized she had to break it to me now...that she couldn't come visit me. which really, i was all sorta used to and understood, because of experience with my maternal family elders' changes in visiting. which explains why they were the ones to break it to me in the dream...for my grandma, who they live by, know, and help out occasionally.

bananasplitz said...

WOW!!! awesome interpretation!! I'm glad you were able to make sense of all of that!